Learning To Be Dad

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Crayons in the photocopier – Going to work with Dad

Seb talks about it all the time. He always asks when we’re going back. He’s really worried that he might be “doing” something else that day, and miss it.

He’s talking about going to work with Dad. Now, to be fair I do work for a very cool entertainment company (at least from a 4 year olds point of view), so my workplace is fairly kid friendly. He gets to play with toys, go the cinema (yes, we have our own cinema) and they throw a wonderful party for the kids at Christmas (all 3000 of them).

But most of all, Seb loves my desk. It has my computer, pens, books and black chair. That’s it. And as far as Seb’s concerned, it’s the best place in the whole building, because he can pretend to work with Dad.

I don’t think I can overstate the enjoyment he gets from just sitting in my chair with a pen and a block of post-it notes, scribbling instructions, or taking food orders (another favourite game). Maybe we’ll call mum to check in. He checks my email, and we pull-up the BBC website for him to play a few games. It’s all part of his “job”.

For me, going to work with Seb is wonderful. Because I work in London, we get to take a train ride and two tube rides to get there. This in it’s self is an adventure. Getting to work tends to be half the fun. As it’s so far away, he tends to come in when I’ve taken the day off, and we’ll go on somewhere afterwards (the London Science Museum is recommended).

Sharing something you do every day with your child is the strongest way to strengthen the bond between you. As a working father it’s quite possible that you’ll only see your child at the weekend. By bringing them into your environment, you help them understand you. You have a common ground you can talk about. Seb is always mentioning things about going work that I hadn’t even realised he’d noticed (lifts, café, work colleges).

Now, I know I’ve written this from a white-collar office point of view, but if you’re a manual worker, is there anything you can do to bring your kid into your environment. Work in a warehouse? Simply bring them and let them look around. I’m sure the scale of the place will amaze them. Remember, to them, anything about 5 foot doesn’t normally exist. Work on a building site? Try and show them the site regularly, even if it’s only for five minutes. Let them see and understand the building process.

Equally you may work in an environment that frowns upon kids. They see them as disruptive. Ignoring how short-sighted this is, there are ways around it. Buy them a suit. I know, it sounds stupid. But you can buy a child’s three-piece suit for less than £40. Put them in the suit, explain that this is a special day, and that best behaviour is needed. They’ll feel like a million dollars, and everyone in the office will think they’re the best thing since the client’s last payment, and make a fuss.

It only takes less than an hour in work for Seb to have had enough. That’s his limit. But by then, he’ll feel that he’s really worked with Dad.